oh shit it’s shit

The plot thickens!” Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief.

Suddenly, she burst out, “I want to punch her evil, lying face.”Liam caught a flash of hot gold as Dad looked at them, narrow-eyed, in the rearview mirror. Dad said, completely seriously, “I can make...

There are monsters among us. I mean this quite literally.

Exactly. You like me. The word you use was like. You’ll find someone better than me. Someone you’ll love and not just like.

Evil people can still keep promises. Many have done just that, girl, though they are usually not promises you ‘rational’ people wish them to keep.

Ah yes, now you’re beginning to feel it. It’s so satisfying to see my best efforts coming to fruition. Undoubtedly one of the most gratifying rewards of my profession. It would warm my heart—if I...

One couldn’t be selective when remembering the past. Ignore the turmoil, chaos and pain – and the truly great memories would not shine with such luster.

Okay, I deserved that,” I admitted.

Mom’s smiles were the most beautiful thing in the world, and they almost always made things better. They almost even made an early bedtime okay, but not quite.

A large piece of lead floated out of Bobby head, followed by dark chunks of what could only be pieces of Bobby’s brain.The torrent started up again. It flowed steady rather than pulsed with his...

Love is not all you need. I need time… a lot of it. Love won’t help me forget. It was the reason why I’m like this. It was all the reason behind this pain I...

There was a single window that tapered into a funnel, with eerie moonlight passing through it, reflecting directly off the globe like a mirror. For a moment, as I rose I saw something glimmering within....

Well, most of us think “The Merchant of Venice” is a porno script. On a more personal note, I’ve decided on pizza for dinner.

Coming home seemed to have started the healing process. No longer vivid and garish, the memories seemed to be covered in gossemer, fading behind a curtain of time and forgiveness.

You’ve left me alone to deal with this situation, and now we’re being dealt the consequences.”I swore I heard Tom growl. I actually pulled the phone from my ear to stare at it to make...

That night he ate so much spaghetti, Mom said he was in danger of turning into a big noodle, which made him laugh so hard, he fell out of his chair.

I had seen that once before, bleeding water. A little baby I worked on as a resident in training. That poor kid had been shot as well—his father had blasted away the top of his...

I’m not the same person I was before, and I am deathly afraid I will never be her again…

Maybe, just maybe, if I ‘m lucky enough, I ‘m still just having a bad trip.

Oh, I don’t mean to infer that you’re not a great guy. I’m sure you’re the exception to the rule.

I run from nothing and no one.

Only hurts when I breathe or blink or exist, if I’m being honest.

What was the point of spying if you couldn’t keep it a secret?

Let us be vulgar and have some fun, let us invite the President.

He pulled me toward him, and all I could do was stand there with arms at my sides and head against his chest. Broken, I feared even the slightest movement would cause pieces of me...

History is not a nightmare from which I am trying to awaken, but rather, a glorious tale which I wish to be cast in.

This was the stuff of novels with — yeah — men like him on the cover.

When it comes to matters of the heart, immortals know nothing.

’Cause Desperado is so much better than Melvin.

She asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”He buried his nose in her hair, took a deep breath and sighed. “You help just be being here.””Well, that bit is easy,” she told him...

The American girl isn’t ANY girl; she’s a remarkable specimen in a remarkable species.

You too.” Then he was gone.And then I was sad.It was ridiculous. Preposterous, even. I was going to have to come clean about the ring- eventually. I hoped he didn’t bring it up because I...

He’d pushed and pushed and pushed until she had nowhere else to go but away from him. He’d been young back then himself. Inexperienced. Stupid. A little patience accomplished a lot more. Hard lesson to...

Just calm down and think, sir. Think. Where is your wife?

I was just about to pull out the gun for you to play single-player Russian Roulette.

Try not to be too stupid, will you?”That sounded like some great advice…

What we often take to be the new is simply the old under some novel form.

Sounds great,” she said flatly then made a gagging sound.

He dragged her to him, and she, being equally focused on attaching her mouth to his, lost her balance. Stepping in for the save, he held her up against the doorjamb with his hard body,...

Why are you running from the ball, Cinderella?” he asked.

So if you want to keep me around, I expect more tweed.

She’s the latest freshest fruit of our great American evolution. She’s the self-made girl!(…)Well, to begin with, the self-made girl’s a new feature. That, however, you know. In the second place she isn’t self-made at...

I am the Captain of my own life.

The sooner it’s over, the sooner we can go back to bed. Everything good happens in bed.

Chase stooped to inspect it. Angelo handed him a latex glove, which took Chase three attempts to pull on before tearing it. He had never had a good relationship with latex. He tried two more,...

The door is shut?

Fort somehow turned the symbol of nerdiness into a visual aphrodisiac—Spanish fly in the form of solid black frames.

Before he went away, he had heard all about the self-made girl, and there was something in the picture that strongly impressed him. She was possible doutbless only in America; American life had smoothed the...

Back on the ferry, I sip some vodka on the rocks and have a chat with God.Me: (desperately) What the *&%$# am I going to do?God:Me: (surprised) Really? After all those Sundays of being a...