oh shit it’s shit

So if you want to keep me around, I expect more tweed.

She’s the latest freshest fruit of our great American evolution. She’s the self-made girl!(…)Well, to begin with, the self-made girl’s a new feature. That, however, you know. In the second place she isn’t self-made at...

I am the Captain of my own life.

The sooner it’s over, the sooner we can go back to bed. Everything good happens in bed.

Chase stooped to inspect it. Angelo handed him a latex glove, which took Chase three attempts to pull on before tearing it. He had never had a good relationship with latex. He tried two more,...

The door is shut?

Fort somehow turned the symbol of nerdiness into a visual aphrodisiac—Spanish fly in the form of solid black frames.

Before he went away, he had heard all about the self-made girl, and there was something in the picture that strongly impressed him. She was possible doutbless only in America; American life had smoothed the...

Back on the ferry, I sip some vodka on the rocks and have a chat with God.Me: (desperately) What the *&%$# am I going to do?God:Me: (surprised) Really? After all those Sundays of being a...

She gave herself up to the waves of the storm. If they drowned, it would be together, a shattered vessel on the sea, a collision of longing and desire.

Ari’s words felt like drops of sunlight upon my skin, and my frame was burning with longing.

Did you see him eat?

He paused, giving her a sweet smile of understanding. “You don’t have to start with the crown jewels, you know. You could start with my lips then work your way down.

Certe volte è difficile stabilire se è l’alba o il tramonto. Qui il sole è sempre lo stesso. Quando è vicino all’orizzonte comincia ad adagiarsi, come felice di una morte a lungo aspettata. Oppure, se...

We weren’t so much oil and vinegar as a lit match and napalm.

When a thundering horde of drunken Vikings rush a person, it’s only natural to flinch.

It was never you. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve regretted that decision every second since the moment I walked out. I’ve made a lot of dumbass mistakes in my...

You have naked angels running around your house,” Jenna continued through her laughter. Gabby laughed louder.

‘You shaved for this.’ ‘For you.’ He clutched her bare legs under her skirt, reminding her he still expected a traditional get-laid one-night stand. She shoved his hands off her. ‘Maybe I wanted rough stubble.’...

I won’t have my son doing drugs to get awoman that he shall never have.

It was hard to judge a man’s full character by his bachelor party etiquette.

The best part of being a nanny, Katya thought, was reading children’s books aloud to enraptured children like Tricia, for no one had read such books aloud to her when she’d been a little girl....

Hi, my name is Cuelebre, Liam Cuelebre. My code name is Double Oh Peanut, but you can call me Rock Star for short.

Absolutely. No more pretending!

Yes, hello ex-girlfriend Sara. And might I add: law-breaker? Who let you out of your cage? Don’t you know Joseph has a restraining order against you?

But optimism dribbles away when horror repeats.

It was like walking into another world. While the mansion was bright, warm, comfy and filled with sound and color, the outside was dark, cold, colorless and devoid of people.I found myself standing beside Thomas...

My body shook from pain, exhaustion, and the beginning of shock. I’d pay for all the powers I’d used, but the portal most of all. Good girls weren’t supposed to open hell dimensions.

The plot thickens!” Gabby exclaimed for comedic relief.

Suddenly, she burst out, “I want to punch her evil, lying face.”Liam caught a flash of hot gold as Dad looked at them, narrow-eyed, in the rearview mirror. Dad said, completely seriously, “I can make...

There are monsters among us. I mean this quite literally.

Exactly. You like me. The word you use was like. You’ll find someone better than me. Someone you’ll love and not just like.

Evil people can still keep promises. Many have done just that, girl, though they are usually not promises you ‘rational’ people wish them to keep.

Ah yes, now you’re beginning to feel it. It’s so satisfying to see my best efforts coming to fruition. Undoubtedly one of the most gratifying rewards of my profession. It would warm my heart—if I...

One couldn’t be selective when remembering the past. Ignore the turmoil, chaos and pain – and the truly great memories would not shine with such luster.

Okay, I deserved that,” I admitted.

Mom’s smiles were the most beautiful thing in the world, and they almost always made things better. They almost even made an early bedtime okay, but not quite.

A large piece of lead floated out of Bobby head, followed by dark chunks of what could only be pieces of Bobby’s brain.The torrent started up again. It flowed steady rather than pulsed with his...

Love is not all you need. I need time… a lot of it. Love won’t help me forget. It was the reason why I’m like this. It was all the reason behind this pain I...

There was a single window that tapered into a funnel, with eerie moonlight passing through it, reflecting directly off the globe like a mirror. For a moment, as I rose I saw something glimmering within....

Well, most of us think “The Merchant of Venice” is a porno script. On a more personal note, I’ve decided on pizza for dinner.

Coming home seemed to have started the healing process. No longer vivid and garish, the memories seemed to be covered in gossemer, fading behind a curtain of time and forgiveness.

You’ve left me alone to deal with this situation, and now we’re being dealt the consequences.”I swore I heard Tom growl. I actually pulled the phone from my ear to stare at it to make...

That night he ate so much spaghetti, Mom said he was in danger of turning into a big noodle, which made him laugh so hard, he fell out of his chair.

I had seen that once before, bleeding water. A little baby I worked on as a resident in training. That poor kid had been shot as well—his father had blasted away the top of his...

I’m not the same person I was before, and I am deathly afraid I will never be her again…

Maybe, just maybe, if I ‘m lucky enough, I ‘m still just having a bad trip.

Oh, I don’t mean to infer that you’re not a great guy. I’m sure you’re the exception to the rule.

I run from nothing and no one.