I’m not going to lecture you on the error of your ways. Not until you fetch me a podium and a microphone. I’ll also need a screen, a projector, and a laser pointer.

It’s awkward to wake up one day to see the trumpet working hard to lead in the shoes of the microphone. You can only lead where you can function better!

The fact that you have access to the microphone doesn’t mean you know everything. There are others listening to you, who know more things than you do, but do not have access to the platform...

I sing into burritos like they’re microphones. If you want my autograph, you’re going to have to wait until the end of the concert.

How many men with a microphone can tell you what he loves the most?