If somebody offered me Cyanide, my only question would be, Is it organic? Because organic is always the healthier option.

After losing my job, I felt the only options available to me were razors, cyanide, or a shot to the face, until Renaldo, being the good friend that he is, reminded me how to tie...

I believe in the salvation of humanity, in the future of cyanide…

Yesterday was my last day at work. My coworkers were so sad they all pitched in and bought me a one-way ticket to Seattle, and a bottle of cyanide in case I get thirsty.

Any advice I might give a depressed person comes in the form of cyanide, and usually is a bit hard for them to swallow.