The government wants to be aware of all your movements—probably including your bowel movements. Ain’t that some shit?

I possess an object that reminds me of your stepdad’s bowel movements. It’s brown and squishy and smells like yesterday.

Living on the edge – that’s what I feel like when I don’t know what my bowels are going to do next.

Please do not say magic like you are discussing a bowel movement… Humanity expects the lights, so they are provided.