So you mean to tell me you won’t fuck anyone you don’t share some kind of deep emotional connection with? What a sad, depressing, truly horrible life you must lead…

If you could pour my love like it was a bottle of wine, would you have one glass or two? That was a trick question, because the answer is you’d drink it all—straight out of...

I had a dream where I drank my own grandma. What she was doing disguised as a bottle of booze isn’t entirely clear to me.