When you’re having sex again, it makes you wonder why you weren’t before. What could possibly have been bad enough to make you stop doing THAT?

The captain of a ship can run a great ship, but he can’t do anything about the tides.

I instantly like people who laugh at my jokes. It’s a weakness of mine.

I think you’ll be a great teacher,” said Gary. That’s his role in my life: blind encourager and ambassador of false senses of security.