You cant rely on anybody being around for you, because things change.

Am I worried about the future? I don’t know. When I think of the word it’s like seeing a cavity, a space where a tooth used to be.

The urge to let go of the wheel and just see what happens is compelling. IfI live, I’ll wake to find myself in hospital. I won’t have to do anything, deal with anybody, talk, bescared...

And that’s humbling, knowing that your voice can mean so much to another person.

Shame isn’t a quiet grey cloud, shame is a drowning man who claws his way on top of you, scratching and tearing your skin, pushing you under the surface.

Once they know they’ve got a hold of your shame, they can shake it out and hold it up for the all world to see. And you become less than it. You become something disgusting.