Wise random strangers at bars are modern-day Oracles of Delphi, except drunk and sometimes leaving abruptly when it’s their turn for karaoke.

It’s not as though the world hates you- it just has no idea who you are

It is hard to convince people of this, but oatmeal truly is miraculous. It gives you an amazing amount of energy, like cocaine.

One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it’s a finite resource, constantly in...