I think it’s despicable,

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn’t: Go stick your head in the mud.

I find that the history books that we teach our kids with are not fully truthful, in my opinion.

The SuperPACs and the Citizens United ruling that gives corporations a voice in the political process are all bad news. They made it so you can now lie, and the politician being promoted on that...

If the government mandates anything with a price tag on it, then it ought to fund the project.

If I wanna be president, I probably can.

I feel strongly that people should be able to choose how they spend their entertainment dollars. It’s none of the government’s business.

They’re trying to do it illegally, … You have a small group of power brokers in this party that won’t allow it to grow nationally, and that’s not conducive to what we want to do...

I would rather be uncomfortable with the truth than to be lied to in comfort. That’s just my nature.

Monsanto can do anything they want to you, and put anything they want into your foods. There’s nothing you can do about it.

I’m saying 9/11 was to get us into Iraq and get us into Afghanistan.

I don’t have to muzzle myself when I’m a civilian. When you’re a governor, you kind of have to do it, because you represent the whole state. You have to leave your personal opinions to...

In my era of wrestling, there were no guaranteed contracts, so it was inherent that you draw the crowd in to make money.

keep his options open.

Go to the internet and go to the FBI website and go to their international list of top ten terrorists. You will see Bin Laden there, bring his name up and his picture. Amazingly, all...

Republicans are not a political party. It’s a mental condition.

When you drink fluoridated water, you’re drinking liquid Prozac. You drink enough of it, even though it’s a small amount, drink it for decades and decades and what does Prozac do to you? It dumbs...

A car is a 2,000 pound projectile that can go 100 miles an hour.

I believe Lee Harvey Oswald did not kill John Kennedy. I believe that.

I’m the only person in the world that, when he holds down two jobs, gets criticized for it; everyone else gets a pat on the back and say, ‘What an entrepreneuring, hardworking person,’ but apparently...

when I said ‘much ado about nothing,’ I was putting myself in the place of these particular individuals who defy death and who are asked to go out in some instances and kill people.

I will not be a Democrat or a Republican. They are the problem, not the solution. We need to abolish political parties in this country.

I love fat people. Every fat person says it’s not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland.

Remember that government doesn’t earn one single dollar it spends. In order for you to get money from the government, that money must first be taken from somebody else.

Politics is not my life. I have a career in radio and another career in film.

There are a lot of good causes out there, but they can’t possibly all be served by government.

should hang their head in shame.

We’re both very well aware that it’s naturally going to be those middle voters who will determine the [presidential] election, … I mean, the vice president’s a bright man. He understands that. Naturally, he has...

I also believe that government has no business telling us how we should live our lives. I think our lifestyle choices should be left up to us. What we do in our private lives is...

Our military doesn’t defend our American people. Our military is the strong-arm muscle of corporations.

There is no right religion, and no one can prove that there is.

In February 2003, I signed a three-year contract with MSNBC to host a talk show. Having recently decided not to run again for governor of Minnesota, I was still a pretty hot commodity. The show...

Is it government’s job to make up for someone’s mistakes?

I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed.

It’s a good thing I’m not the president, because I would prosecute everybody who was involved in that torture, I would prosecute the people who did it, I would prosecute the people who ordered it...

I have metal in my body, so every time I go to an airport ,the metal detector goes off.

Barack Obama’s large contributor was Goldman Sachs – same thing on the Republican side. If you go to both their conventions, you see the same lobbyists paying off both sides so they win either way.

Any party that would put Sarah Palin up on a pedestal will never have my support.

As governor, there isn’t a lot I can do beyond that to crack down on crime. Law enforcement is really a local issue. It’s the cops’ job to tighten down on criminals.

I believe in the America people’s ability to govern themselves. If government would just get out of the way and allow them to lead their lives as they choose, they will succeed.

I don’t want protectionist feelings in Congress to stand in the way of progress for Minnesota,

There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag.

Let’s face it: WikiLeaks exists because the mainstream media haven’t done their job.

I asked Dalai Lama the most important question that I think you could ask – if he had ever seen Caddyshack.

Sarah Palin’s a quitter.

When you reach a certain age in life, time becomes more important than money, and I think that happens in your 50s.

The first part of it I thought was excellent. When Rick Kahn got up, I left the building halfway through what he was doing,

I hear he’s getting support from (Louisiana-based Republican and onetime Ku Klux Klan operative) David Duke, … I can’t be part of that.

Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat.

I do not support the third party movement anymore. I now advocate the abolishment of all political parties. We’ve allowed the parties to take over the government.