A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else’s box of matches

You’re driving me NORMAL!

It was almost enough to make me feel emotion.

It really is better to be lucky than to be good.

I know family comes first, but shouldn’t that mean after breakfast?

Doakes had a first name! It was Albert – had anyone ever really called him that? Unthinkable. I had assumed his name was Sergeant.

I think that’s nice, and if I could have feelings at all I would have them for Deb.

Life teaches us that human thought almost never walks hand in hand with logic, and it is usually counterproductive to raise the point.