I asked my publisher what would happen if he sold all the copies of my book he’d printed. He said “I’ll just print another ten.

All these old guys, they were exactly the same on stage as off, and they couldn’t help being comedians.

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.

It’s a very sad day. I’ve always admired him. Everything he did had a very evocative ring, of something great.

There’s no family allowance on the first child, you know.

No, wait, here’s a good bit.