Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, ‘Where have I gone wrong’.Then a voice says to me, ‘This is going to take more than one night.

I fall in love with any girl who smells of library paste.

There is a thought among some brands of theology that souls are waiting up in heaven to be born. Now how in the world anybody comes up with that is beyond me, and how you...

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Look out!! Ha! Now you’ve done it! Now you’ve broken a lamp, and you’ve got no one to blame it on but yourself!””Maybe I could blame it on society!

In the Book of Life, The answers aren’t in the back.

Each year, the Great Pumpkin rises out of the pumpkin patch that he thinks is the most sincere. He’s gotta pick this one. He’s got to. I don’t see how a pumpkin patch can be...

I don’t believe in school prayer. I think it’s total nonsense…who is the teacher there that is going to have them pray? And is the teacher going to be Catholic or Mormon or Episcopalian or...