You never heard of a comedy team that didn’t fight, did you?

But for twenty years as a professional team, Lou and I were closer than man and wife.

Once they get their hooks into you, you’re a dead pigeon.

They disallowed this and disallowed that, and now I can’t even get my head above water!

Sitting at home the way I do, I’d just love the hear from people. It’d be a great help in passing the time.

Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who’s on first, What’s on second, I Don’t Know is on third.

They liked me so long as the liquor flowed at my house, but I haven’t seen any of them around lately.

It gets so boring at home. After all, how many reruns of Abbott and Costello movies can a guy watch on television?

That’s why so many stars are making pictures in Europe today. The tax guys are making thieves out of everybody.

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life. I still can’t drive.