Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

His head was full of larceny, but his feet were honest.

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn’t sleep during office hours.

She’s generous to a fault – if it’s her own.

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb over it.

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins.

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

It was so quiet, you could hear a pun drop.

The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness.