Sometimes Eli believed his mother was embarrassed by him. “I swear, my mom thinks if I do one thing differently than the average person, I’m weird,” Eli said later. “It’s like she thinks I’m a...

If teachers are uncomfortable at their own school, they will pass on their uncertainties or negative attitude to students.

My heart broke not only for the daughter who already was forced to become her mother’s alarmingly narrow ideal, but also for the middle daughter who knew that her in mother’s mind she had already...

It was a relief to inhabit someone else’s life for a while, to get her personal issues for a brief respite. In a play, she knew exactly how all her character’s problems would be resolved....

It’s not about what you’ve done; it’s how you’ve experienced whatever has happened to you. Matt Lawrence in The Overachievers

Group membership can modify individuals’ perceptions of themselves. Unable to separate their personal introspection from the ways they believe other people perceive them, teenagers may have what psychologists call an “imaginary audience”, meaning that they...

Part of the problem is that people at our school don’t listen. They just put on the headphones and tune out the world. It’s intimidating.

Students didn’t much like those who verbally or physically beat the crap out of them. But when researchers began measuring aggression alongside perceived popularity, they found an undeniably strong link. Recent studies conclude that aggressive...

Being indie means being artistic and finding your own eccentric identity. The name of the game for being an indie kid is to never admit you are one. If you do, it goes against your...

The cafeteria made him feel like an observer rather than a participant in the high school experience.

Social standing does not necessarily translate to social acceptance.

Studies have shown that, at least among students, popularity equals visibility.

He didn’t realize that simply by mingling among various lunch tables, he was befriending people in different crowds, weaving together the fringes of the cafeteria.

He could be disciplined when he wanted to be.

In the minds of their peers, too often students become caricatures of themselves.

The 1970s, fewer than 25% of US residents lived in counties in which the presidential candidate won by landslide. 30 years later, that percentage has nearly doubled.

Although she was gregarious, she inadvertently separated herself from people because she was so often inside her own head, focusing on her creativity.

I figure I’ll win the fight in twenty years or so anyways when I end up with a decent life and their unemployed and living at home.

At middle age, a guy might feel his life is stagnant, with too much predictability, stability and certainty. At 25, however, a common feeling is that there’s too much unpredictability, instability and uncertainty,

Gaming was “one of the only times when you only have to focus on one thing.” But even more than that, “It’s like an anchor. As long as I know it’s there, it’s part of...

The human brain takes in information from other people and incorporates it with the information coming from its own senses, neuroscientist Gregory Berns has written. Many times, the group’s opinion trumps the individual’s before he...

…make sure you are still living in the present, rather than for an uncertain future.

Too many parents fail to understand that there is a difference between fitting in and being liked, that there is a difference between being “normal” and being happy. High school is temporary. Family is not.

Nonconformists aren’t just going against the grain; they’re going against the brain. Either their brains aren’t taking the easy way out to begin with, or in standing apart from their peers, these students are standing...

If someone doesn’t spell ‘you’ out in an e-mail,

Imagine what it must be like for teenagers who don’t feel they have room to breathe in their own homes. If you are a parent reading this book, you care about your child. If she...

How could he encapsulate in a pithy admissions-interview line all of his unique ideas and interests?

Just as people used to fret about the rules on when to call someone back, … now they agonize for hours over a four-line e-mail. Should I punctuate with a winky face? Will he think...

If there is a single factor that spells out the difference between the cafeteria fringe headed for greatness and those doomed for low self-worth, even more than a caring teacher or a group of friends,...

Being an outsider doesn’t necessarily indicate any sort of social failing. We do not view a tuba player as musically challenged if he cannot play the violin.