Whatever I haven’t accomplished biologically obviously wasn’t all that imperative.

What doesn’t kill you is probably just taking a break to freshen up so it can come back and finish you off later.

Watch as the American mother protects her young ones from dangerous influences.

Henry Ford is quoted as saying. “History is more or less bunk.” Now, if he never spoke those words, doesn’t that just prove he was right when he didn’t say them?

It’s not easy balancing a career, a family and a healthy outlook on life, which is why I don’t.

Most people thought he was insane when he looked up into the sky with a simple handmade telescope and cried out that the Earth revolves around the Sun, because this was four years ago.

I’ve seen enough family photos in enough homes to know that the term ‘suitable for framing’ should have a stricter definition.

I had to break up with Medusa. I just got sick of buying mice for her hair. I should have ended it sooner, but you try looking into those eyes.

Sure, I’d like a child of my own. I’d also like a laser pistol, that doesn’t mean someone should give me one.

My parents would not permit ugly language in the house, which was okay with me. I didn’t want to learn German anyway.

I stared out at the waves. “Why am I here?” I thought. Finally it came to me. But it was too late. I was a terrible lifeguard.

Lately, I’ve become sort of a fatalist. Well, that was bound to happen.

There are many ways to roll with the punches. Still, it’s probably best to avoid people who punch you.

Have you ever suddenly realized it’s someone else’s mood swing and you’re just along for the ride?