A terrified-looking bystander, a nerdy man in a sweater, calls the police and stammers into the phone: ‘A huge group of people are fighting and there’s pepper spray and superheroes and I don’t know.

I didn’t realize he was a drunk driver,’ I said. ‘The other superheroes inferred it was just a regular, random guy you were trying to force a taco onto. But still’ – I indicate the...