There is something very wrong with you.

Whatever. No one can hold your hair back like I can.

Travis Maddox: Mr. Mom.

I had died and woken up in High School Musical

Just point me to the nearest eighties rock video,” I said.

Oh, yeah. That’s what you need, another shot.

Oh! Thanks for the public service announcement about what not to do in college, Mr. Eighteen-year-old-frat-boy-with-eleventy-billion-‘serious’-girlfriends-under-his-belt! Get in the fucking car. You’re a mean drunk. You haven’t seen me mean, mama’s boy!I told you we’re...

Just remember that when I take all of your money in the next poker game,” I said, pulling off my shirt.

You’re going to miss another class.

I fucking love you.

You know why I want you? I didn’t know I was lost until you found me. I didn’t know what alone was until the first night I spent without you in my bed. You’re the...

I vowed in front of God – and Elvis – that I wouldn’t, didn’t I?

I’m not playing the big brother, Pigeon. Not even close.

It’s the tattoos,” I shrugged.

I don’t understand you, either. You’re supposed to be Eastern’s ladies’ man. I’m not getting the full freshmen experience they promised in the brochure,” I teased.