I cross country ski on conveyer belts covered with shaved ice. People trying to check out at the grocery store need to show more respect for serious athletes.

Hotel hallways should have conveyer belts for floors, so I can feel like a grocery item on vacation. I guess I’m just a romantic.

I had a dream about you. I think we made love, but I can’t be certain because the scenes were censored by the Moral Authorities. The thing that pisses me off is my grocery list...

I had a dream about you. We almost made love in the produce section of your local grocery store, but when I asked if you brought protection, you told me you’d forgotten the coupons at...