I always keep the weather in my pocket, so no matter where I go, I always have something to talk about. Sudden thunderstorms embarrass me.

I’m so sunburned I’m embarrassed, but you can’t tell I’m blushing because I’m sunburned. I’m so ashamed I could just lie on the beach and die.

I am the red in remembered. Why am I red? Because I’m embarrassed.

I had a dream about you. I asked you to dance, and you said you already had a partner. That was when I noticed you were embracing a mannequin, and I felt my face get...

We made love like flamingoes are pink. You know what else was pink? My cheeks, because I was so embarrassed when I found out that she was the wrong woman.

The only thing that would ever embarrass me would be something I would write that would be badly written.