There were never going to be any happy ending for me. I know that now. But that is all right. That is all right.

He forgave you though,’ said Claire. ‘He never held it against you, ever. All he cared about was that you lived, and that you got better. He would have given everything for that. Everything. Nothing...

And then, when there is nothing else between us but love, we can begin to find a way to truly be together.

I want him to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too. Even if you can only find that happiness without me.

Thoughts race, as if, in a mind devoid of memory, each idea has too much space to grow and move, to collide with others in a shower of sparks before spinning off into its own...

We’re constantly changing facts, rewriting history to make things easier, to make them fit in with our preferred version of events. We do it automatically. We invent memories. Without thinking. If we tell ourselves something...

What are we, if not an accumulation of our memories?

Pain, or pleasure. I could not tell where one ended and the other began.

There are memories I am better off without. Things better lost forever.

Everything seems different now. The room I am in looks no more familiar to me than it did this morning when I woke up and stumbled into it, trying to find the kitchen, desperate for...

To create myself from nothing.

I step back further, until I feel cold tiles against my back. It is then I get the glimmer that I associate with memory. As my mind tries to settle on it, it flutters away,...

It’s so difficult, isn’t it? To see what’s going on when you’re in the absolute middle of something? It’s only with hindsight we can see things for what they are.

I want to sleep. To find a safe place somewhere, and close my eyes, and rest, like an animal. That is what I am. An animal. Living from moment to moment, day to day, trying...

I could see it all. The hand on the shoulder, then the hug. The mouths that find each other through the tears, the moment when guilt and the certainty that things must go no further...

I am floating, I thought, completely without anchor, at the mercy of the wind.

I looked over at him, running in the distance. Another faulty, fucked-up brain in a healthy body.

I closed my eyes and abandoned myself to my grief. It felt better, somehow, to be helpless. I didn’t feel ashamed.