The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it’s just sort of a tired feeling.

It is my wish to die of unique causes, perhaps in a high-speed tricycle crash, a bizarre stapling incient, or as a result of inadvertently sucking my brains out through my ear while trying to...

There are those wonderful moments of clarity in life when one is reminded how irreparably flawed we humans are. Once, when I was nineteen, on the subway in Boston I lost my balance slightly and...

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up ’cause they’re looking for ideas.