I alternate between feeling sympathetic toward humanity and being a misanthrope. When I’m sympathetic, it usually means I haven’t been around people in awhile.

No one will ever write a horror novel as scary as reading about my symptoms on WebMD.

God, I hate judgmental people. They’re so mean…and fat.

I don’t believe in ONE holy book. I believe all books are holy. Of course, some books are holy shit.