Often, we will stay in a miserable status quo until the misery finally exceeds the resistance to change. True wisdom is seeing the future: what will happen if change does not happen?

Children have empty erasable white boards upon which big people write indelibly imprinted messages into their tender subconscious minds.

Other people feel love when we listen without judging and accept them without demanding change. We all desperately require these basic needs. When we can do this for another, we are indeed that person’s angel.

Since children from dysfunctional families are so good at judging others, they also judge themselves finding themselves unacceptable when compared to others, always assuming they are second best, not enough. This is a painful realization...

Was that the best You can do?” This god, to whom I was desperately sending burnt offerings of my own humiliation, couldn’t send an avenging angel or a wise man imparting wisdom? All You can...

Sitting on the hot seat of change requires much courage, patience, and persistence.

Making amends is not only saying the words but also being willing to listen to how your behavior caused another’s pain, and then the really hard part…changing behavior.

God’s will” these events happen? On the other hand, do tragic events happen because of laws of nature or the law of averages?

If we want to improve, first we have to recognize our own maladaptive coping skills, called codependency, then change.

People build defenses around a weakness, not around strength. Where self-esteem is strong, a defense is unnecessary.

Life is a learning experience and this is a very peaceful method of accepting the reality you face…”What will I learn?

The truth is, we tend to train people how we want to be treated. If others know you have wishy-washy boundaries then they are free to walk all over you; the results…you become a doormat....

A spiritual hell I lived in … hating the God of love and knowing the god I served … hated me!

Being judgmental is a form of attack keeping others off balance.

Acceptance” is the most beautiful word in the English language.

Putting labels on others creates a black hole of disregard where judgment thrives and schisms deepen.

Change will not successfully happen unless the emotional component is solved.

Reality may not be what you want it to be, but it is the reality you now must face. You can deny this reality and try to wish it away, or you can accept it...

When you journey inwardly exploring yourself, a sense of personal trust begins.

When this low self-worth is hidden, one can understand why the person becomes hypersensitive to the opinions of others and has a great deal of difficulty accepting criticism no matter how warranted or gently said.

No matter how I want things to stay the same, no matter how discomforting change can be, I am stuck with the certainty that all molecules vibrate; all things are in constant motion; and change...

Others hide from being real by filling the air with words; the more words they throw out, the less actual communication happens and they are left with only an illusion of connection. This is the...

This wonderful gray of acceptance resides between the extremes of black and white thinking; looking for serenity, explore the gray. Part of that acceptance is understanding that life is hard and involves life and death....

Boundary violations are deeply experienced.

Twirling round ‘n round -faster and faster …she dreams this circular motionwill take her home, high in the heavens where hurt is onlyan earthly world.

As a parent who raised his children in dysfunction, I know the parental wounds my children received were not intentional; often they were my best expression of love, sometimes coming out sideways, not as I...

Families living in dysfunction seldom have healthy boundaries. Dysfunctional families have trouble knowing where they stop and others begin.

The key problem I encounter working with wounded, depressed, and unhappy people is a lack of connection…starting from a disconnection from themselves and then with others. This is why love often becomes so distorted and...

Change is hard, difficult, painful, and often messy

Honoring your word is the fiber from which trust is built.

t,” seeking our own understanding, which can change with new awareness.

When I learned about the gray existing between the black and white of absolute terms, I began to experience more peace. The more I expanded my gray areas (more than 50 shades), the more peace...

Until I face the emptiness in my soul and know this spirit within me, I have not yet begun to live, nor touched the face of God.

World’s definition of successmaterial validation of selfcold and naked substitutefor inner warmth and beauty.

When life beats us down, we often do not feel worthwhile to ourselves nor to anyone else. Often, we try to hide our feelings of inadequacy in pursuit of perfection, which develops into self-loathing. If...

When you wear a mask, you are not real.

Boundaries represent awareness, knowing what the limits are and then respecting those limits.

No one escapes some degree of chaos for it is so ever prevalent; it is the human experience. This realization does not mean we can’t improve. It does mean we can accept our state of...

A victim evokes sympathy, right? Victims are not responsible, right? Victims have the moral high ground… someone else is causing the misery, right? Victims can easily justify why they are right. Victims allow themselves to...

It was His gentle voice who calledand sent His angel pain to guide me, through the long ‘n dusty corridors, and empty hallways of my soul.

I, like you, was not depraved or defected before birth but created to be magnificent, a wonderful and freeing realization – simple but explosive.

The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you.

Wounded parents often unintentionally inflict pain and suffering on their children and these childhood wounds causes a laundry list of maladaptive behaviors commonly called codependency. These habits restrict people to love-limiting relationships causing much unhappiness...

What this world needs now… more balloons and clowns

No,” is a necessary ingredient in a healthy lifestyle.

Under this aura of perfection he knows how flawed he really is but his intact denial system keeps this awareness suppressed in the far recesses of his mind.

Consider letting go of the barriers between yourself and others, let go of the definition our culture has inflicted upon us and allow the best part of ourselves to connect with the wondrous parts of...

The more dysfunctional, the more some family members seek to control the behavior of others.

just kidding.

My prayer is an attitude of pure gratitude for having the opportunity to experience life on this earth with all its pain, heartache, worry, and turmoil; coupled with this gratitude is the thankfulness for just...