Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business.

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

Don’t you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don’t even have to be true!

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that...

But if I hadn’t shoved you off the boat back there,you’d be lost at sea now,wouldn’t you? We’d all be lost! So thanks to me you’re all standing on land.”(Pirates, its a good thing they’re...

I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and–regardless of their political or cultural differences–accuse each other of cheating.

Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.