My point is that this Potter business has legs. It will run and run, and we must be utterly mad, as a country, to leave it to the Americans to make money from a great...

But here’s old Ken – he’s been crass, he’s been insensitive and thuggish and brutal in his language – but I don’t think actually if you read what he said, although it was extraordinary and...

I want you to know that I have nothing against Orlando, though you are, of course, far more likely to get shot or robbed there than in London.

The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP they have run out of better ideas.

In the words of Mr Thierry Coup of Warner Bros: ‘We are taking the most iconic and powerful moments of the stories and putting them in an immersive environment. It is taking the theme park...

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

Pyramid of piffle [no, not his views on Liverpool but a report Petronella Wyatt was his mistress]

To rely on a train in Blair’s Britain is to engage in a crapshoot with the devil.

I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.

Sometimes, in our thinking about higher education, we’re too narrowly confined to a utilitarian calculus about what it’s doing to the bottom line of UK plc. I wanted to make the point that higher education...

Tremendous, little short of superb. On cracking form.

It’s economically illiterate. A degree in classics or philosophy can be as valuable as anything else.

Ken doesn’t think he’s got anything to say sorry for and if that’s really his feeling, then I think that he should stick to his guns.

I’ve always known my life would be turned into a farce. I’m just glad it’s been entrusted to two such distinguished men of letters.

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

It’s forbidden.

It’s very, very good news for Cameron. He’s going to storm through, I’ve absolutely no doubt he’s going to be Prime Minister.

I don’t see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and...

My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.

You know, sometimes I don’t understand what’s wrong with us. This is just about the most creative and imaginative country on earth—and yet sometimes we just don’t seem to have the gumption to exploit our...

The Tory Party – the funkiest, most jiving Party on Earth!