Elliot: How’s it goin’?J.D.: Well, my bike is rusty, I haven’t been able to feel my genitals since they first touched water, and the only thing I’ve had to eat all day is a half...

Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, Man Not Caring.[points to self]

JD/Dr Cox: The second you start blaming yourself for people’s deaths, there’s no coming back.

J.D.: Elliot, I’m thirty years old; I’m single, I’m homeless, and I’m pretty sure I just soiled myself.Elliot: Why don’t you just move into my place?J.D.: Oh, great, then we’ll be two losers under one...