The only issue is there is not a big group of officials available early in the day. I think all schools would like to try to go to afternoon games at some point, but with...

Hoodwinked: The True Story of Red Riding Hood

It felt good because they’ve murdered us for the last two years.

Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was mentally handicapped. It was really wrong. One time I was a bad magician. And one...

An artificial field would be a godsend to some schools.

It’s being edited as we speak. I think it might come out in the winter,

Guilt is a weird thing to me. I don’t have a lot of it.

I don’t like my body, it’s oddly-proportioned. I’d like to be, like, dumpy.

The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can’t find anywhere else.

I believed in God my whole life.

I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I’ve been talking to God. I developed this dialogue in rehab, this dialogue with God, and every day I talk to...

In the front of the boat, you look at it as you have basically two things you have to do,

I had no blood relatives till I made some.

I never really worked with Chris Farley, I hung out with him, but I had plans… I had big plans… movies… and I was in no hurry.

I do a lot of research,

I was a bad boy as a child.

Now I try to make efforts, you know, I’m just, the best effort I can do is just stay sober myself. I can at least do that.

Weather is always going to be a problem. It’s probably an athletic director’s worst nightmare. You set schedules in stone a year before and hope everything goes well.

My parents just neglected me, I wasn’t abused or anything.

I’m really ultra-affected by things… I feel things deeper, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and offended and sensitive and I’m almost paranoid very easily, and that’s who I am.

Weather’s not an issue when you have that kind of field.

Straight people say, ‘You know you’re just gay,’ and gay people say, ‘You know you’re just gay.’ There is such a thing as bisexual!

The new movie I’m working on right now is very autobiographical. It’s about a television actor who drinks too much and gets blackballed from the industry, and then he decides to break back in by...

We’re spending the money the district approved four years ago. I have not enough fields and too many teams,

There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed.

I don’t even remember what I did in that movie, because I did it so long ago, … I think I’m a crazy bunny … or a lizard. Maybe even a beaver. I don’t know....

You’re paired with a pro, but it’s two different divisions, … There’s a pro division and an amateur division. You’re just on the pro’s boat.

When I was a kid, I was afraid of other kids.

Maybe it’s just because it’s so damn cold there, … You find humor in everything, ’cause the climate’s so harsh, you have to laugh at it.

Also, you can get the type of bait you should use depending on the time of year. Colder is better for smallmouth [bass], and warmer is better for largemouth. Smallmouth will swim deeper in the...

At times it was difficult, funny, cathartic and also very easy to make because, you know, I just know the subject matter really well.

You cannot be this successful without having God on your side.

The best advice he ever gave me was to keep it real, keep it simple, … He was a big believer in not having to spell every joke out. You shouldn’t have to explain it.