It's a long road he took to get here. That's why I was emotional. It just that it wasn't a normal road to get here. A couple weeks ago I didn't have a brakeman. Back home for Christmas, I kept thinking I might have to drive him to the airport in St. Moritz to fly home and watch the Olympics from there.

I told him to try and throw strikes because we couldn't afford to walk anybody because then we couldn't (use our) defense. He looked tired, but I thought he could get through it.

He has the range. We're just trying to get him to catch and shoot instead of putting it on the floor.

We will make sure he gets his Lifetime Achievement Award, no matter how hard it is to track him down.

Yes,' he said, 'a list. That way, I figure, we'll have a written record of what we've agreed upon as our goals for our relationship. So if problems arise, we'll be able to consult the lists, see which issue it corresponds to, and work out a solution from there.'I could still hear my sister talking, but her voice was fading as she led her group around the house. I said, 'But what if that doesn't work?'Jason blinked at me. Then he said, 'Why wouldn't it?' 'Because,' I said.He just looked at me. 'Because...''Because,' I repeated, as a breeze blew over us,' sometimes things just happen. That aren't expected. Or on the list.''Such as?' he asked.'I don't know,' I said, frustrated. 'That's the point. It would be out of the blue, taking us by surprise. Something we might not be prepared for.''But we will be prepared,' he said, confused. 'We'll have the list.' I rolled my eyes. 'Jason,' I said.'Macy, I'm sorry.' He stepped back, looking at me. 'I just don't understand what you're trying to say.'And then it hit me: he didn't. He had no idea. And this thought was so ludicrous, so completely unreal, that I knew it just had to be true. For Jason, there was no unexpected, no surprises. His whole life was outlined carefully, in lists and sublists, just like the ones I'd helped him go through all those weeks ago. 'It's just...' I said and stopped, shaking my head.'It's just what?' He was waiting, genuinely wanting to know. 'Explain it to me.'But I couldn't. I'd had to learn it my own way, and so had my mother. Jason would eventually, as well. No one could tell you: you just had to go through it on your own. If you were lucky, you came out on the other side and understood. If you didn't, you kept getting thrust back, retracing those steps, until you finally got it right.

Maybe we can get him down to Pawtucket three days before he's eligible.

Daniel's catch was huge. If he doesn't get to that ball, it's a different game. He kept us in it, then at bat, made some adjustments and hit it a mile. I've seen enough of them to know it was gone.

Ryan did a good job of getting in there. He got position early and our guards got him the ball. They (the Orioles) really didn't have an answer for him.

If he finishes first, we'd get him the X-Box 360. Some people say we shouldn't do that, but if he goes pro they're paying him to ride anyway. What's the difference?

We probably could have done a better job of trying to find ways to get him the ball. But they really honed in on him. They chased him pretty good on screens. We he got a little bit open somebody would rotate on him pretty good. Late in the game he tried to take things over and make some plays and he did. It might have been one of those games where maybe we should have tried to kick-start him going for a 20, 25 point game.

We're going to try to get him to the point -- whether it's a week from now, two weeks from now -- where he can carry that load that he needs to carry. That's how we're going to do it. I think we all agree in our organization that if he's doing what he's supposed to, we're better. So we just got to get him there. That's not the easiest thing in the world because we're not 20 games up. So we'll do the best we can.

We're not sure if he can get back for the first game [against UAB on Sept. 3] or the second game. We're just not sure. He's ahead of schedule so we certainly expect him to be back at some point.

We have three weeks left. He's certainly not going to throw one inning and then start the season. But we'll get him in games when he and [pitching coach Al Nipper] feel he's ready to do that in a positive way.

I asked him on [Thursday] if he wanted to make the trip [on Friday]. He could have stayed back. He wanted to get work against major league pitchers. He spent five hours on a bus to do it.

I'll watch him throw, and if we think he's doing great, then we'll put him back in there. We're just trying to factor in us winning and getting him back to throwing with confidence.

We have to get aggressive. We have to deny passes. The last couple games, teams have been catching it too easy on the perimeter. We've got to knock passes down, put more ball pressure on and get more defensive rebounds.

We tried to get Leon the ball. But they were fronting him really well, and their guards were pressuring us a lot, so we didn't want to turn the ball over.

Rick told me to put him in and that he'd get it done. He was mad as heck at me and should have been. I was wrong. I've been wrong before, and I'll be wrong again. But Rick came in and did what he does best.

If we start getting offense from him, we have a good player. And, again, he's hitting ninth so he doesn't have to hit .300 and drive in 100. I want him to have a chance to show what he can do. So, bailing on him wouldn't be good.

I wanted to get away from him before he led me into talking, before he made me feel angry, or grieved, or jealous all over again. I did not want to feel anything for him, not desire, not resentment. I wanted to be cold to him, so I turned on my heel and started to walk away.

Is he going to be a .300 hitter? I don't know. Maybe sometime. But I don't think any of us are expecting that or really looking for that out of him this year. I think right now it's more about catching the ball. I think the more comfortable he becomes with that and the more settled he gets, the better his hitting is going to get. Anything he gives us offensively right now is icing on the cake.

With me and him it's more about him trying to get me to change my game plan. He made me understand how good some of the other things were that I could do, get me to believe in that stuff.

It gets heated, but I usually wax him. He likes to say he wins because one day he won three in a row. Anyway, one day he won a couple of games.

Someone taught him right. He gets it.

We have got to get him touches at the basket. Everything we do has to start in his hands. Even when he's not scoring with a drop-step or a hook, people are collapsing on him and that's going to free up Brandon and Gabe for some jump-shot opportunities.

Early on, he was trying to force things that weren't there. I talked to him and told him to trust his teammates. After that, they started playing off of him and he played off of them. He came to play this week.

He'd always liked women who'd talk back to him just a little bit. "Girls with balls" were good. Women with an actual mind of their own who could prove him wrong in something were, of course, castrating bitches who should be drowned in bottomless wells.

He's clearly got a temper on him. When we met, the first thing he said to me was, 'I'm an irascible guy' - and he clearly can be - but he was great to work with. I never saw him show his temper because most of the time I was working with him he was getting to hit somebody else in the story.

We just want him to get better and ready for the regular season. I have no worries he'll be ready.

We'll get a chance to evaluate him during the week and see if he is ready to go, ... If he doesn't practice a certain amount, you question yourself on how many reps you can give him in the game.