Tears flood in youyour eyes burningyour heart scars with my name scratched deepMy face is gonemy heart betrayed by your lullabiesI’m a shadow of a girl insideHands are touching younothing takes the place of youHeart wrench, weeps goodbyeLullabies, beautiful and trustingBarely breathing as they break into dustLonely corners meSweeps me off my feetShows me it was better for meFingertips holding closeyour grip not as softFollows me to an empty bedI can’t stop the weakening of my soulmy body is dyingyour tune is holding my mindLet me gosee what I doNo controlNo youYou whisper your sweet goodbyeIf it is small it won’t interrupt my sleepBut my heart you keepYou say it’s for meBut who would be happy?Alone left out in the cold
The last time I was intimidated was when I was 6 years old in karate class. I was an orange belt and the instructor ordered me to fight a black belt who was a couple years older and a lot bigger. I was scared s—less. I mean, I was terrified and he kicked my ass. But then I realized he didn’t kick my ass as bad as I thought he was going to and that there was nothing really to be afraid of. That was around the time I realized that intimidation didn’t really exist if you’re in the right frame of mind.
I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.