Just because you discover that you may like somebody after all, it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any attraction.

Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that’s crashing.

Papa, I’m ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I’m not a child or a baby anymore, so I’m allowed to speak my mind. And...

Augie: Does everybody else know?T.C.: About my epitaph?Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face!T.C. Not everybody. There’s a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn’t know yet.