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I start to feel like I can ‘ t maintain the facade any longer, that I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don ‘ t know. Why does the rest of the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the need to keep on keeping on?… I don ‘ t know the answer, I know only that I can ‘ t. I don’t want any more vicissitudes, I don’t want any more of this try, try again stuff. I just want out. I ‘ ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I am already exhausted.

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