Why is it that, you can only truly love someone if you make out with them or if they are your family? Whatever happened to friendship love? Look. I have never have met anyone on this site. But the love here – that shit is real. I don’t care if you’re all some random perverted thirty-year old men just wanting to bang some chick. I love you all. You guys gave me the courage to move on in life. You taught me that its okay to cry and feel pity for myself as long as I got back up. And I’ll always be greatful to you for that. Look. I don’t know what you guys look like, but if its anything like what you’re like on the inside – than you are all gorgeous, wonderful, beautiful people and the world just can’t handle your awesomeness. Okay? So I just wanted to say thank you. And to anyone who doubts this love, screw you. Because these people saved me when no one else cared to even try. These people are my courage, my legs to stand on, my world. And trust me when I say this. These people are my soul mates. Not ‘like my soul mates’, no. These people are my soul mates. And this love can’t simply be defined in a couple of make out sessions. It goes beyond that. Beyond your imagination. So shut the hell up and don’t bother telling me that I can’t possible love these people because I never met them. Some feelings reach through the screen, and don’t need to have the interaction among one another. Some feelings surpass all. So shut up. I love these people.
When I was twelve I was obsessed. Everything was sex. Latin was sex. The dictionary fell open at ‘meretrix’, a harlot. You could feel the mystery coming off the word like musk. ‘Meretrix’! This was none of your mensa-a-table, this was a flash from a forbidden planet, and it was everywhere. History was sex, French was sex, art was sex, the Bible, poetry, penfriends, games, music, everything was sex except biology which was obviously sex but not really sex, not the one which was secret and ecstatic and wicked and a sacrament and all the things it was supposed to be but couldn’t be at one and the same time – I got that in the boiler room and it turned out to be biology after all.
This is for you, all the women of the worldThose who lived, all who ever willthis is for your love, mine is yoursLove is fate, I am hereBecause you know the meaning of lifeThat begins and ends with a kissWe are knights in shining ardor, who toil for youAnd our children, it’s a circleSo they will know this truthLove is the sacred gospel, all we need to knowAs your son and lover, my spirit lives imbuedWith, from and by your wisdom and beautyI am here to pay honor and homage to your soulThis is and will always be my devotionThis I dedicate, because through you I become whole
Başyardımcı içine dolgun bir soluk çekerken gözleri parıldıyordu. Parmak uçlarını birbirine sürttü. İşte bu seferki, sanat gerektiren bir görevdi. Aşk, sevgi, dostluk, güven… böyle kaypak kavramlar kazık gibi metodlarla öğrenilecek şeyler değildi. Hiçbir bilgisayar, hatta Şişko bile böyle konularda direkt cevap veremezdi. Sorular non-frekans sayılarıyla, non-sekitör ilişkileriyle sorulmak zorundaydı. Yani en basit anlamıyla, ölçülebilir bir neden olmaksızın yapılmış hareketler, belirli bir mantık olmadan girişilmiş eylemler, belki sevgi, dostluk, güven gibi nedenlere dayanan şeyler olabilirdi. Ama bunların listesini çıkarırken de çok dikkatli davranmak şarttı. Çünkü aynı hareket ve eylemlerin nedeni nefret, delilik veya şantaj da olabilirdi pek l . Zaten sevgi için motivasyon içgüdüsünü saptamak hiçbir zaman kolay değildi. Hele sevgiyi şantajdan ayırmak hemen hemen olanaksızdı.
The place of horror turns out to be no more than a green scoop, sometimes shadowed, sometimes shining with the bilberries and grass within it, as if a mouth had opened from which streamed a beam of light. So my uncle Robert’s death, which had looked from a distance to be an all-consuming tragedy was, close-up, the story of a man finding release from his pain and how his brother had showed such defiant love. The past was a grave, a trap – and yet, also neither of these. Just light, coming and going.At the wolf pit you imagine you will stare into a hole littered with bones, but what draws you to that place is not what you take from it. The wolf pit seems a delicate illusion. You walk towards it; there is nothing, just a curve of the moor; then it is a soft green light, and then it is nothing again.
Arms and legs thrashing. The hammer of blood.I’m coming, says Jude. And holds her breath. Orgasm is brief, nonviolent. What color? I say Devastating blue, she says. The pale blue eyes of a murdered boy. Very nice. You remembered, she says. Jude comes in colors. How could I forget. Trembling blond orgasms that seem to piss her off and rare pink orgasms that never end. Chemical red orgasms that fill her with guilt and perfect orgasms black as fresh earth. Orgasms shadowy and gray that may or may not cause her to weep and orgasms the color of bruised skin, orgasms that fade from purple to yellow and remain visible for days.
I should have asked why any room in the house was better than home to me when she entered it, and barren as a desert when she went out again—why I always noticed and remembered the little changes in her dress that I had noticed and remembered in no other woman’s before—why I saw her, heard her, and touched her (when we shook hands at night and morning) as I had never seen, heard, and touched any other woman in my life?
Who knows how to make love stay?Tell love you are going to the Junior’s Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning.