If we do not find anything very pleasant, at least we shall find something new.

Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively

Your Majesty may think me an impatient sick man, and that the Turks are even sicker.

A good cook is a certain slow poisoner, if you are not temperate

The poor man is never free; he serves in every country

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

Those who are absent, by its means become present: it (mail) is the consolation of life

I was never ruined but twice; once when I lost a lawsuit and once when I won one.

Business is the salt of life.

The public is a ferocious beast; one must either chain it or flee from it.

It is said that God is always on the side of the big battalions.

A witty saying proves nothing

Cela est bien, repondit Candide, mais il faut cultiver notre jardin.

It is proved…that things cannot be other than they are, for since everything was made for a purpose, it follows that everything is made for the best purpose.

When he who hears does not know what he who speaks means, and when he who speaks does not know what he himself means, that is philosophy

Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.

You will notice that in all disputes between Christians since the birth of the Church, Rome has always favored the doctrine which most completely subjugated the human mind and annihilated reason

All is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.

Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road.

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well

If there had been a censorship of the press in Rome we should have had today neither Horace nor Juvenal, nor the philosophical writings of Cicero

England has forty-two religions and only two sauces

The discover of what is true, and the practice of that which is good, are the two most important objects of philosophy.

It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.

It is easier to write on money than to obtain it, and those who gain it, jest much at those who only know how to write about it

Such then is the human condition, that to wish greatness for one’s country is to wish harm to one’s neighbors.

The shrieks were coming from two quite naked girls, who were pursued by a pair of apes snapping at their bottoms. […] So he now raises his double-barrelled Spanish rifle, fires and kills both apes....

Imagine all contradictions, all possible incompatibilities–you will find them in the government, in the law-courts, in the churches, in the public shows of this droll nation.

And to every man has been assigned a good and an evil angel; one assisting him and the other annoying him, from his cradle to his coffin.

say, “Believe as I do, or I shall assassinate you

We may not always oblige, but we may always speak obligingly

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.

Let us read and let us dance – two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.

The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbours, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all.

It is said that the present is pregnant with the future.

History is no more than the portrayal of crimes and misfortunes

He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked

He who dies before many witnesses always does so with courage.

Truth is a fruit which should not be plucked until it is ripe.

Society therefore is an ancient as the world.

It is clear that the individual who persecutes a man, his brother, because he is not of the same opinion, is a monster.

The Dutch fetishes who converted me tell me every Sunday that the blacks and whites are all children of one father, whom they call Adam. As for me, I do not understand anything of genealogies;...

Answer me, you who believe that animals are only machines. Has nature arranged for this animal to have all the machinery of feelings only in order for it not to have any at all?

We are at the end of all our troubles, and at the beginning of happiness

Whatever you do, crush the infamy

The public is a ferocious beast — one must either chain it up or flee from it.

The ancients recommended us to sacrifice to the Graces, but Milton sacrificed to the Devil.

The multitude of books is making us ignorant.

In my life, I have prayed but one prayer: oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.