When I was interviewing Beth as a potential flatmate, I asked her about her hobbies. She said she enjoyed cooking for others. I asked her when she could move in.

Not that I’m the kind of person who would actually inflict emotional pain on another human being out of a selfish, twisted need for revenge.I just like to think about it.

Don’t you think you’re a little old now to be quoting The Chronicles of Narnia?’ I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.’You read Harry Potter,’ Will protests.’Everyone reads Harry Potter,’ I exclaim. ‘It’s an institution....