The Master of Disguise

You can touch up and they don’t feel like they have a ton of gunk on their hair.

You want a lesson? I’ll give you a lesson. How about a geography lesson? My father’s from Puerto Rico. My mother’s from El Salvador. And neither one of those is Mexico.

One night this guy actually said to me, “Your legs must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all night.” It was so silly I didn’t even get it. With lines like that,...

If I moved, he moved. If I stopped, he stopped. It was a duel.

Waitressing – by far the worst job ever created.

One night I was in bed-and remember that I’m on the second floor of a hotel-when I spotted this crab coming toward me across the floor, watching me with his beady little crab eyes. I...

big, deep, meaningful, it’s-so-over maybe.

Give me civilization. I don’t want to be pampered.

I was screaming constantly, on the set, in my room… everywhere.

I saw this girl in a magazine the other day and thought she looked familiar; then I realized she was one of those porno women.