Some things are only real because they represent what we think. When we learn the truth and think it, the old reality is no longer real to us and loses its hold on us. The...

When we criticize people, their consciences console them. When we love them, their consciences indict them.

Except in a very few matches, usually with world-class performers, there is a point in every match (and in some cases it’s right at the beginning) when the loser decides he’s going to lose. And...

Still is just the right way to be. You rise in the morning to go about your day. You remember a friend who has troubles. You don’t quibble with yourself about whether to call her;...

Personal growth is not like the development of a skill. It does not take place in observable increments that can be measured and charted. Indeed, as we have seen, when we’re growing in sensitivity, generosity,...

Honest self-understanding liberates us from our stuck emotions.

We influence others most profoundly when we do not seek to change them at all, but simply go about straightforwardly doing the right and loving thing.

The self-help movement that began in the latter half of the twentieth century suffers particularly from this flaw, for the personal and interpersonal skills it seeks to cultivate are almost always designed to get us...

Living in the box means being convinced that other people and our circumstances are responsible for our feelings and our helplessness to overcome them. What we can’t see when we’re in the box is that...

Did I love what I was doing, or did I love myself in doing it?

A responsible step in loosening the grip of any lie we might be living is to ask ourselves, solemnly and seriously, this momentous question: “Might I be in the wrong?” What gives this question its...

Our humanity consists in our ability to sense and respect and respond to the humanity of others.

Self-betrayal occurs when we do to another what we sense we should not do or don’t do what we sense we should. Thus self-betrayal is a sort of moral self-compromise, a violation of our own...

Blame is the lie by which we convince ourselves that we are victims. It is the lie that robs us of our serenity, our generosity, our confidence, an our delight in life . . ....

The very fact that we need to struggle for approval proves that we do not approve of ourselves. Having to convince ourselves of something means we do not really believe it. That is why we...