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Ah Buddha, you boastful charlatan. You may have learned nothing after 6 years of suffering, but then what of 7 years? What of 17? What might you have learned from a lifetime of pain? […] From what I can tell, the wisest man in all these scriptures was the first person Buddha ever tried to teach – an Ajivika named Upaka. Buddha bragged to him of how he achieved nirvana, to which Upaka simply replied: “That may be so,” and walked away.

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