There. We can be friends now.””Someone like you could never be my friend.””Why ever not?””Because I’m a nice person, and you’re a sick, twisted bitch.

Now don’t jerk me around. This is the Midlands. There are no vampires here, and dressing up like one doesn’t make it so. You can’t even tell me how he’s got no marks on his...

You’re a vampire?””Yes.””So what does that make me, your victim?””You’re clearly not as dumb as you look.