When you’re about to die, your whole life’s supposed to flash before your eyes. When you fall in true love, on the other hand, what you see in the twinkling of an eye is your...

Mostly I sit at home in the evenings watching the box and hoping that one day I’ll evolve into plankton.

Telling lies is a bit like tiling bathrooms – if you don’t know how to do it properly, it’s best not to try.

Love is an optical illusion that makes you believe the object of your affection is the most beautiful person in the world.