I was in my peak physical condition when I was about like, uh… one. Oh God, I looked good, young and fresh! You wouldn’t know me now if you’d seen me when I was one,...

I’m not gay, so I don’t know much about Broadway musicals.

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can’t stay in the same place. People think you’re a loser.

Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.