But oh my dear, I am tired of being Alice in Wonderland. Does it sound ungrateful? It is. Only I do get tired.

Why, then, did I always feel as if his happiness was my responsibility? It wasn’t fair for him to burden me with that. It had never been fair.

Wonderland was all we had in common, after all; Wonderland was what was denied the two of us. I had denied him his; he had denied me mine.

Now and adult, allowed a glimpse of these first cracks in my family’s perfect surface, I couldn’t help but wonder what else I didn’t understand about us all.p 60

… afraid of everything because nothing truly terrible had happened to me, yet.

Would my son love me, when he was old enough to know what love meant?p 181