I wasn’t the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn’t shut up.

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over?? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think I made a mistake once… yeah… it was only once.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by...

If it doesn’t know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind.

No, … even when you’re making fun of people in this business, they want to take credit for it. That’s how big the egos are.

True Yankees are born, not made.