You know, that’s the only good thing about divorce; you get to sleep with your mother.

There is nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man appreciate his wife.

Women know what men have long forgotten. The ultimate economic and spiritual unit of any civilization is still the family.

Communism is the opiate of the intellectuals with no cure except as a guillotine might be called a cure for dandruff.

Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there.

A man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman’s eyes.

It is matrimonial suicide to be jealous when you have a really good reason

The women who inspired this play deserved to be smacked across the head with a meat ax and that, I flatter myself, is exactly what I smacked them with.

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face.

A woman’s best protection is a little money of her own.

Male supremacy has kept woman down. It has not knocked her out.

Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.

A man’s home may seem to be his castle on the outside; inside, it is more often his nursery

There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them.

Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.

In politics women type the letters, lick the stamps, distribute the pamphlets and get out the vote. Men get elected.

Fifty years from now, people will look back upon a Pan American Clipper flight of today as the most romantic voyage of history.

Lying increases the creative faculties . . . It is only in lies, wholeheartedly and bravely told, that human nature attains through words and speech the forbearance, the nobility, the romance, the idealism, that it...

But if God wanted us to think with our wombs, why did he give us a brain

But much of what Mr. Wallace calls his global thinking is, no matter how you slice it, still globaloney. ‘ Mr. Wallace ‘ s warp of sense and his woof of nonsense is very tricky...

I refuse the compliment that I think like a man, thought has no sex, one either thinks or one does not.

There is nothing harder than the softness of indifference.

Thoughts have no sex

Technological man can’t believe in anything that can’t be measured, taped, or put into a computer.

Love is a verb.

They are vulgar and dirty-minded and alien to grace, and I would not, if I could, which I hasten to say I cannot, cross their obscenities with a wit which is foreign to them and...

Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the 20th century than any other single factor.

I’m in my anecdotage.

I don’t have a warm personal enemy left. They’ve all died off. I miss them terribly because they helped define me.

The oppressed never free themselves – they do not have the necessary strengths.

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men.

In the final analysis there is no other solution to man’s progress but the day’s honest work, the day’s honest decision, the day’s generous utterances, and the day’s good deed.