REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell, You will repent...

What this country needs – what every country needs occasionally – is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends

REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience. In a republic, the foundation of public order...

MAIDEN, n. A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and views that madden to crime. The genus has a wide geographical distribution, being found wherever sought and deplored wherever found. The...

ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape; for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of...

Habit: The shackles of the free.

UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only. This...

ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

PICTURE, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three.”Behold great Daubert’s picture here on view — Taken from Life.” If that description’s true, Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too. –Jali...

DISOBEDIENCE, n. The silver lining to the cloud of servitude.

TELESCOPE, n. A device having a relation to the eye similar to that of the telephone to the ear, enabling distant objects to plague us with a multitude of needless details. Luckily it is unprovided...

NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

BRANDY, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the- grave and four parts clarified Satan. Dose, a headful all the time. Brandy is said by...

DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.

EXCOMMUNICATION, n.This “”excommunication”” is a word In speech ecclesiastical oft heard, And means the damning, with bell, book and candle, Some sinner whose opinions are a scandal — A rite permitting Satan to enslave him...

GNOME, n. In North-European mythology, a dwarfish imp inhabiting the interior parts of the earth and having special custody of mineral treasures. Bjorsen, who died in 1765, says gnomes were common enough in the southern...

CLIO, n. One of the nine Muses. Clio’s function was to preside over history –which she did with great dignity, many of the prominent citizens of Athens occupying seats on the platform, the meetings being...

IMMIGRANT, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose.

FOLLY, n. That “”gift and faculty divine”” whose creative and controlling energy inspires Man’s mind, guides his actions and adorns his life.Folly! although Erasmus praised thee once In a thick volume, and all authors known,...